November 3, 2006
Beasts of Burden
get your strap on!

Observe: the terrifying Bra strapus, of the fauna family Stickusoutium.

Its fierce attacks on peaceful neighbors such as the Shoulderus bareus and Tank topus are well documented. A modern-day cousin, Strapus seethroughosus, has given rise to countless uh-people-can-totally-still-see-them horror stories.

But now comes a deceivingly delicate-looking new breed of removable, interchangeable Strapus (commonly known by the name StrapCouture) made of filigree, stones, suede, and leather-woven chain link — meant to be seen but remarkably compatible with spaghetti straps and other outerwear.

Amazingly, they’re adaptable to any climate: arid (the racer-back regions), tropical (sub-shoulder terrain), and temperate (double-layered under tanks and boat-neck collars, just for the look of it).

There is still much to learn from these fascinating little symbiotes. Still, with a little luck on their part (and a lot more responsible dressing on ours) we may be in for a better-looking future.

An elusive, welcome state of being known as Perpetualus chicus.

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